


kind-of-date

by radwastelandduck



Category: Broadchurch
Genre: Communication, Emotions, F/M, POV Ellie Miller (Broadchurch), Post-Season/Series 03, Soft Alec Hardy, let hardy have emotions 2k20, soft Ellie Miller
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-06-04
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:13:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24544420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/radwastelandduck/pseuds/radwastelandduck
Summary: “Thank you.” Again, a short nod. She knew what it meant. Always.or: Hardy and Miller try to spend an evening after a job well done having dinner but Ellie´s feelings for Hardy come bubbeling to the surface. feat. talking about feelings
Relationships: Alec Hardy/Ellie Miller
Comments: 2
Kudos: 77





	kind-of-date

**Author's Note:**

> Hey!  
> I kind of fell in Broadchurch hell 3 years after the show finished? And I am kinda obsessed with Hardy and Miller and their dynamic? The ending left me very underwhelmed in regards to their relationship (LET THEM HUG GOD DAMNIT) so i have to cope by writing about them talking about their feelings. If you can relate, enjoy.

„Do we really have to do this?”

“Yes of course! We deserve this.”

Ellie smiled at Hardy, possibly even beamed. It was their first day off in ages, Daisy is looking out for Fred and Tom and Beth is keeping an eye on her in return. She finally convinced her boss and also kind of friend (even though neither of them would admit it) to have a nice evening out with her. She hasn´t said it to anybody but she also misses the going on dates aspect of having a partner. She just loved to take her mind of things for one evening. With her stressful job and two kids that can be quite a challenge and for several years she lacked the pretence of a date with her partner to do so. Her kids needed her in the time after Danny´s murder and their father´s trial more than anything. She had to put them first and she did. But, while they are still working through the trauma and go to therapy regularly, they are doing alright. The man who played no small part in this change and in her not going mad was currently beside her, looking as though he reconsiders his life choices that brought him here.

“I don´t know Miller, it doesn´t look like very good food.” Of course he would be complaining about that. They had chosen that restaurant together precisely because Hardy is such a picky eater. She was not having any of it tonight. “Can you stop being such a pain in the arse for one night? You picked this place so we are going to eat here.” Still visibly displeased he still reached for the door and held it open for her. Sometimes he could be quite the gentlemen.

“Thank you” She was trying to lift the mood again. They had been quite happy when they left the station earlier, having just finished all the remaining paperwork for their latest case. She didn´t want this evening to become more of a chore than an enjoyment. She looked at Hardy trying to find an indication that this was also what he wanted. He looked at her as she removed her coat, his face hard and expressionless. So just normal Hardy there. But she didn´t want normal Hardy tonight, she wanted Alec. Before she could try again, a waiter appeared in front of them, guiding them to their table and handing them the menus. The place was quite crowed but it was a Friday evening so that didn´t come as a surprise. What was surprising was the table. It was in a secluded corner near the window overlooking the sea. She couldn´t remember asking for a special table so this had to be incredible luck.

“This is quite a lucky table, isn´t it? Can´t believe no one reserved it.” She said as they sat down. Hardy looked at her and then out of the window. His features where quite nicely illuminated by the warm light from the lamps above him.

“Wasn´t quite so lucky” He answer as he continued to stare out at the sea. Sometimes she suspected that he only really liked the view of it and not really its existence. He had few fond memories of water, she knew that. But the sea was such an integral part of Broadchurch, his home, she wondered if he had come to accept it, as he had come to accept other parts of this town as well.

“I booked it” Being so lost in thought about Alec, she almost didn´t catch it. She looked up from her menu in shock. Why would he do this? It had taken ages for her to convince him of this evening, why would he care where they sit? Her questioning gaze on him probably prompted him to answer her unasked question. “I don´t want to sit surrounded by people. Knowing the size of this town, half the people here know us and I don’t really want to become the gossip of the city.”

He had a point. Walking through the restaurant to their table, she already spotted several familiar faces. But it also meant he knew what this looked like. She had imagined that he, with his near-to-none existing knowledge of social behaviour, wouldn´t catch the underlying implication this evening might have. She had hoped that she could enjoy her tiny dream all by herself without actually acknowledging it to anybody. She didn´t even want to acknowledge it herself, to be perfectly honest. The truth is that she wanted this to be a date. She kind of wanted to _date_ Alec Hardy. The thought scared her. She knew Hardy for years, only really liking him for the last few. She didn´t want to go down the road what had happened to her liking him in the last few months. It developed into something more, something she doesn’t want to put her finger on. She wanted to put it away in a dark corner and forget about it. She knew that Hardy didn’t date. He had one years ago but he said, that it was so painfully awkward that he really didn’t want to do that again. And that had been it. He hadn’t gone out again, focused on being a dad and a cop. That was time consuming, she knew from her own experience.

“Wouldn’t want that, would we?”

She tried to hold back the bitterness in her voice but by the look of it, Hardy didn´t buy it. He made no attempt to comment on it, he just looked at her, studied her. Feeling uncomfortable under his gaze, she looked back at her menu.

“What are you getting?” She asked him, having had barley anytime herself to look at the selection. Her try at steering the conversation in another direction surely didn’t go unnoticed but Hardy graced her with an answer nonetheless.

“I was thinking a salad.” He said with a straight face. But then moments afterwards a small smile was visible at the corners of his mouth. “How I am supposed to choose if you give me literally no time to even look at the menu?” So they weren´t going to ignore it. And apparently she had to deal with snarky Hardy tonight. A rare occurrence, but a welcomed one. It meant that he was as relaxed as Alec Hardy could be. That calmed her down. If her boss isn’t nervous about a kind-of-date, so shouldn’t she, right? 

“Thought you might have looked it up online while you were booking this elegant table.” She could be teasing too. Hardy looked at her for a second before adverting his gaze to the sea. A few moments passed before he studied the menu again, the topic apparently dropped for him. She went back to her menu again, but can´t bring herself to care what is written on the page. The silence between them was awkward, making her shift in her seat. It was briefly interrupted by the waiter asking for their order. She looked at Hardy while he talked. She couldn´t focus on what he is saying, only on the way his lips moved. Her trance was broken as she looked up into his eyes to find them starring at her. Momentarily confused she looked at the waiter before remembering that they were indeed in a restaurant. Having not chosen a meal, she only muttered a short “Caesar’s Salad, please” before given the menu back to the waiter. He thanked her and left them in silence. She could feel Hardy´s gaze on her.

“Are you alright? I´ve never seen you eat a salad before.”

She just shot him a look, having nothing to say. He watched her closely for a few seconds before saying with a gentle voice: “Are you okay, Ellie?” Him using her first name has become more common but only in situations where they share deeply personal stuff. His eyes were pleading, wanting her to trust him, to tell him.

“I know it´d be rude, but can we leave? I´m not feeling good.”

He stood up, grabbing his coat and offered his hand to her. Grabbing behind her for her jacket, she took it. His hand was cold despite the relative warmth of their surroundings. She shivered. Alec noticed, letting go of her hand. “Maybe you should put on your coat.” She did. Hardy took her hand again as they walked through the restaurant.

Once outside, he didn´t let go.

“Where do you wanna go now?” he asked in the same soft voice. He was concerned for her that was obvious. He really didn’t need to be. She was fine. She just freaked out a little over the overwhelming emotions she felt for Hardy. They came out of the dark corner at a moment that had no real significance. Maybe it had just been stored away for too long, longing for the light.

“Can we go to the beach?”

“Sure”

So they walked. Both came with a taxi but they were in an unspoken agreement that they wanted to walk. He still held her hand, all the way to the beach. Sometimes she felt a soft squeeze, like a reassuring that he was still there. They walked in silence.

Once at the beach they gravitated towards _their_ bank. The bank were Hardy rejected her offer for a drink years prior. It all seemed so far away now. They sat down, shoulders brushing, hands holding.

“Do you want to talk about it?” She looked at him, contemplating. Could she risk it? She laid her head on his shoulder, sighing. 

“No”

She felt him nodding. Hardy was good at respecting boundaries. He never did something that made her feel uncomfortable, always checking. It calmed her, knowing that. She felt his arm move, coming to lie around her shoulder. That was very un-Hardy like, initiating touches. She relaxed into it, wanting to show him it was okay.

“Thank you.” Again, a short nod. She knew what it meant _. Always._

They sat on the bench for a while. The sun was already gone when they left the restaurant but now the temperature caught up. Ellie shivered. Hardy tightened his arm around her. He shifted his face in her direction, mumbling into her hair. “Do you want to go?” He didn’t specify where. She knew where she wanted to go, where she had to go. She nodded, pulling him up by the hand she still held.

She knew the way. If Hardy recognized where they were going, he didn’t show it. He did pull out his keys when they stood in front of his house. To open the door he had to let go of her hand, after more than an hour. Her hand felt cold, like Hardy extracted all of her warmth.

Hardy held the door open for her. It reminded her of the same act mere hours prior when the dark corner was without light. She stepped inside.

“Daisy is still with your boys, I believe. She said she won´t come home tonight.”

Daisy was a real sweetheart. She has grown a sister to Tom and Fred. The way she cared for Fred lovingly, almost as if he was her real brother, and could still challenge Tom in his pubescent outbursts. It was a joy to watch. Hardy really showed his soft side around her, trying to be a good dad and succeeding, if you´d asked Ellie. Hardy was a great dad to her, she could almost see him as a dad to her children too. That was a dangerous route to go down. She longed for somebody who understood her but who also loved her kids. Someone who is a family person. Someone who makes time for his family and for her. Someone is already doing all that, she knew. That someone is standing behind her, taking his coat of, unaware that Ellie has come to a decision regarding her earlier problem.

Without even removing her jacket, she turned around and faced Hardy.

“Alec, and don´t come at me for calling you that, it´s the right fit now. I want to tell you what has been bothering me tonight. Well, not really bothering but more or less distracting me. I´ve come to a realisation. Well, that is not really true either. I´ve know it for quite some time but kept it deep down. But tonight I couldn´t keep it down there anymore. And now I can´t even keep it to myself. You are it. You are the reason I couldn´t concentrate on the menu, you are the subject of my thoughts. But not only that, you are IT for me. In the last few years you have become everything I ever wanted in a partner. You respect me, you make time for me and you love my family. You have become more open to me about your past, your feelings, your fears and it only made me like you more. I am deeply satisfied with the way our friendship works and this doesn´t have to change a thing about it. I just can´t keep it in anymore but I don´t want to pressure you into anything. Because if there is one thing that is the most precious to me, it´s your presence. You are the constant in my life, the one person I can trust and rely upon always. I love you Alec Hardy, I truly do.”

At the beginning her voice was shaking. She felt like she couldn´t find the right words. But the further she got, the more sure she became. It was almost like that speech sat deep inside her, waiting to get out. At the end it felt almost easy to say the big words. It felt natural as if she had said it a hundred times already. And maybe she had. In ways that were non-verbal. Maybe Hardy knew already. She never broke eye contact with him. His eyes became unbearably soft at the end. He took a step forward and put his arms around her. He hid his face in her neck, a shiver running through his body. As she pulled her arms around his waist, she felt the wet stains on her neck. Hardy made a move to let go of her but she held him firm in her grip. So instead he leaned his head against hers, his eyes shimmering with tears.

“Thank you. Not just for saying that but also for everything else. For the big things and the small ones. For convincing me to go to therapy and staying in Broadchurch to bringing me food in the morning after a case and inviting me to spend time with your family. You made me a better person, Ellie. I couldn´t live without you. Hell, I probably wouldn´t. I was in a dark place when we met but you pulled me out. You _cared._ Ellie, I love you too. You are also the most precious thing to me, you are my light. And I would very much like to kiss you if that´s alright.”

“Of course it´s bloody alright, _we love each other_.”

And with that she moved her hands into the hair she wanted to touch for so long and pulled him down.

* * *

Nothing really changed after that. Hardy still pissed her off from time to time, he still came over as often as he could, Daisy and the boys still got along wonderfully. The only thing that really changed were the waking ups next to him, the morning kisses in the kitchen, the dates-that-were-real-dates and of course the “I love you”s whispered as they lay in bed at night, ready to face the next day, month and year, together.


End file.
